The Inside Job

It’s time to do an inside job and explore.  Come.  Bring the light of awareness with you.

I imagine myself as a house.   In that house, there is one place I avoid—a dark attic where many things are stored.

I read how peaceful, blissful and joyful my life could be if I go inside my attic and shine the light of awareness on all the scary unknowns.


I began my attic exposé and uncovered—

shame and humiliation
guilt and blame
apathy and despair
grief and regret
fear and anxiety
desire and craving
anger and hate
pride and scorn



I thought going to the attic was supposed to make me feel better?  This exposé is the exact opposite of the peace, bliss and joy I wanted.   Instead, I uncovered  pesky demons.

I hate them.  They are so painful and horrible to look at!  No wonder I didn’t want to have anything to do with them. I stuffed them all here so none of them can ever become part of my life.

Those pesky demons are smart.   They superimpose their ugly heads on the faces of people—friends, colleagues, family, and those who I have never met—to get my attention. My day-to-day experiences were filled with them.

All this time, I have been pointing a finger at everyone else, not knowing the demons are mine.

I thought I could safely stuff them in the attic, but here they are in front of me everywhere I look.

In time, I realized those pesky demons were parts of me, my little selves.

Oh God.  What am I supposed to do now? Where is God anyway?


God reappears

when I start paying attention to my little selves.  

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